A mother's pain

I wrote a poem about Mark just trying to cope 

Title: A mother's pain

I love you! I love you with my soul 

Which is why when I see that distant glare in your eyes ,it causes my heart pain

Once full of life I see you slipping away

mentally into a silent death growing cold

And there is nothing I can do!

It hurts to love you 

I keep seeing a funeral of the child I once had, now grown into a man. Drums playing, Weeping, and finally a Hurst. When I gave birth to you this is not how in my head our lives was rehearsed. 

I am in between, I am in tug of war, hanging on to the person you were and the one you could be.

Only saving you it isn't up to me. I sometimes rewind and take trips in the back my mind of, a baby me holding you 

looking into your eyes and stroking tiny hands and feet.  

You art the artwork of God ,  you are a present.

A gift if you will

Only presently the gift 

Somehow got tainted, by life and living

I beg with tears in my eyes to hold on to life and love will guide 

Life is a gift from God above to fall in love with yourself each and every day. 

I am a mother

a doctor

Lawyer

Comforter

Healer 

I don't know any other way to be

I love you so much my child that I'm losing me